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在基督徒圈裡，有一個更諷刺性的現象，就是他們的家庭價值觀。在一個健康的社會型態之下，家庭成員互相支持，是一個非常自然與健康的現象，也是一種負責任與愛的表現。基督徒對這種價值觀特別讚許。但當論及為了神的緣故而犧牲家庭時，那就大相逕庭了。
他們表揚那些在孩子最脆弱的年齡時，把養兒育女的責任「犧牲」掉了的宣教士。這些宣教士，把他們稚齡的孩童送到外國的寄宿學校，有時候一送就十多年，非常少相聚見面，他們如此做，是為了能夠專心在神的事工上。為了拯救靈魂而犧牲了孩子的地位，讓孩子度過一個沒有父母親的童年，是何等的高貴可欽啊！我們也為那些違背父母親去神學院受訓的牧師喝采。當這些牧師們手上拿著畢業證書時，他們十分光榮地分享，他們當年如何一路從坎坷、被逼迫的道路上走出來的得勝見證。
另外，因為聖經裡的十誡教導「除了我以外你不可有別的神」（出埃及記20：3），基督徒必須違背他們祭拜祖先的家庭傳統。雖然這種公開違抗的行為，會恥辱整個家族、觸犯了遵守孝道至上的原則 ，更嚴重的話，甚至會導致關係的斷絕。基督徒不認為這是一種不敬、羞辱的行為，反倒認為這種正義的犧牲，既光榮又可敬。基督徒所有為神做的奉獻都被高舉；雖然有時候這種犧牲，會傷害到別人或是使關係脫離，但這種行為都被認為是值得效法的模範。
基督徒都知道，如果要跟隨耶穌，所付上的代價會相當大，這不是一條容易的道路。耶穌說「若有人要跟從我，就當捨己，背起自己的十字架來跟從我。」（馬可福音8：34）畢竟進天國的門非常的窄，只有少數的人有資格進入。 「引到永生，那門是窄的，路是小的，找著的人也少。」 （馬太福音7：14）如果你選擇要耶穌而不要你的親人，那麼引起家庭衝突是理所當然的。耶穌不是還說：「你們以為我來，是叫地上太平嗎？我告訴你們，不是，乃是叫人紛爭。從今以後，一家五個人將要紛爭：三個人和兩個人相爭，兩個人和三個人相爭；父親和兒子相爭，兒子和父親相爭；母親和女兒相爭，女兒和母親相爭；婆婆和媳婦相爭，媳婦和婆婆相爭。」（路加福音12：51-53）
身為基督徒真的以家庭相爭、以犧牲兒女替代宣教事工為傲嗎？真的為了進窄門，與父母為敵，為了得著將來那更好的賞賜與福份嗎？如果“彼此相愛”是有條件的，只能實踐在與自己相同信念的人當中，而無法延伸至框架之外的人身上，那麽這種“揹十字架”的家庭價值觀令人嚮往嗎？
Double Standard
In Christian circles, there exists an ironic phenomenon related to their family values. In a normal societal context, mutual support among family members is a very natural and healthy phenomenon, demonstrating responsibility and love. Christians particularly commend this value. However, when it comes to sacrificing family for the sake of God, a stark contrast arises.
They praise missionaries who "sacrifice" the responsibility of raising children during their most vulnerable years. These missionaries send their young children to foreign boarding schools, sometimes for over a decade, with very limited reunions. These missionaries do this to focus entirely on God's work. They view sacrificing their children's upbringing for the sake of "saving souls" as a noble and commendable act, even if it means the children grow up without their parents. Similar applause is extended to pastors who defy their family's ancestral worship traditions by attending seminary. These pastors proudly share their victorious testimonies of overcoming adversity and persecution.
Moreover, because the Ten Commandments in the Bible instruct, "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3), Christians must defy their family's traditions of ancestor worship. While this public act of disobedience can shame the entire family and breach the principle of filial piety, and in more serious cases, lead to conflicts and severed relationships, Christians don't view it as disrespectful or humiliating. Instead, they consider this righteous sacrifice both honorable and admirable. All sacrifices made by Christians for God's sake are elevated; although such sacrifices can sometimes hurt others or strain relationships, they are seen as exemplary acts worth emulating.
Christians are aware that following Jesus comes with a substantial cost; it's not an easy path. Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). After all, the gate to the kingdom of heaven is narrow, and only a few are qualified to enter, as Matthew 7:14 states: "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." If you choose Jesus over your family, conflicts within the family are expected. Jesus even said, "Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law" (Luke 12:51-53).
Do Christians truly take pride in family conflicts and sacrificing children in place of missionary work? Do they genuinely believe that it's worthwhile to become adversaries with their parents for the sake of entering the narrow gate and obtaining future rewards and blessings?
If "loving one another" is conditional and can only be practiced among those who share the same belief, without extending to those outside the framework, does this "bearing the cross" family value evoke aspiration? Can Christians find room to reconsider how God wants his people to assess their family values?